Whisper a Prayer for Them Tonight

Ferguson. This summer, I would have had no idea where or what that was. In August, I moved to Saint Louis to start grad school. A few short weeks later, there was a shooting that occurred about 15 minutes away from me; the ripples of which have echoed back and forth across this nation. The unfortunate events that took place that day and in the weeks and months afterward are a stark reminder to me of man's fallen nature. My heart hurts thinking about the people who are in such turmoil that they cannot seem to find the way up. This nation, this world, is in such desperate need of a Savior.

Change

With childlike abandon, the sun radiates her warmth. 

Sporting their most majestic garb, the trees whisper in excitement. 

Deep thoughts of eager expectation drive the wind along more quickly. 

The world is alive and bursting with a secret

Just waiting to be told.

Fall is here; and winter is coming.

The heat has gone; and the sun is setting.

A smile dances into my eyes, 

Wonder floods my heart...

With change, comes adjustments. 

What is gone will never come back.

Nostalgia. 

Ah! But with change, comes new opportunities!

The Beauty of the Night

A cool breeze engulfs me as I step out into the blackness. After hours of tossing and turning for no apparent reason, I was tired of the glaring red numbers of my alarm clock screaming that it was getting later... and later... with no hint of sleep in sight. 1am...2am...3am. And I gave up. Obviously sleep was going to elude me tonight, so I might as well look at something a little more beautiful than my alarm clock. As I perch on the top step of my porch, I pull my blanket closer around me, thankful for its fuzzy warmth against the chilling air. The world seems so oddly silent. So empty and peaceful. I serenely gaze up at the sky as the song of the crickets lulls away all my thoughts. The moon is bright and cheerful, casting a delicate glow on the sleeping world. In between and through the quickly moving wispy clouds I catch glimpses of stars. Their ferocious power all but lost to me through the millennia that separate us. As I focus on their beckoning light, the chatter of crickets fade into the background. The nagging breeze no longer has my attention, nor does the friendly smile of the moon draw my eye. Somewhere out in the vastness, are things that I cannot even imagine. Things that man has not seen. Wonderful and great things. I feel so small and frail. As if the slightest calamity could totally obliterate my memory. How can problems in my life seem so big and out of proportion? The faintest breeze could blow it all away.

My thoughts take another turn. How awe-inspiring and majestic must God be? If He created all this, if He simply breathed it into existence, how much more incredibly imposing must His being be? How small and finite are we in comparison! The enormity of our universe pales in comparison to an omni-present Deity. 

As I slip back inside, my heart is still filled with awe and wonder at the presence of God. Oh, how little reverence we give Him. We treat Him as if He were a vending machine, or some slave that we control - demanding Him to give us our desires and take away our troubles. If only our eyes were not so blinded by selfishness and our hearts so puffed up in pride. If only we would realize how little we give Him what He demands...

We may choose to ignore the obvious. We may choose to live our way instead of His. But one day, our perfect little self-centered glass bubbles will be shattered. That day when our body breaths its last breath, and our soul enters into eternity. We will then be faced with the harsh reality that we chose to obliviously ignore. Only then it will be too late to change our path. God's mercy will no longer be available, and our eternity will be sealed. Is it worth it? 

Of Purest Gold

There are days when each hour is a fight just to survive.
When the sun doesn't shine and the time just crawls by...
How will I make it alive?

The war rages on with each breath that I take;
The storm inside of me thunders and crashes.
Will my heart stay in one piece or will it all turn to ashes?

I cry and say, "Your will be done, Lord."
But my heart passionately spews - "No, Mine!"
The pain of each step and the dread that is building,
Threaten to overtake me.

My heart is struggling - straining to beat -
As the war rages on inside.
Death to my flesh, or death to my soul,
Are the only options in sight.

"Oh Lord, won't you take this battle from me?
Banish these desires from my heart -
Make myself like You!"
..."Don't you care, Lord?" I whimper in anguish;
No answer in sight.

The wind clamors against my house;
The storm outside no match for the one in my heart.
Desperation and confusion join ranks against me.
When will this battle end?

"Not in this life," comes the nearly silent reply.
"Oh Lord! How can this be?"
"My child, your will is free -
The war will rage as long as you are outside eternity."

"You see, my child, this battle must be.
Each man has his own war to face.
For at the end of his life, his battle will prove a choice.
If the choice is made to give into the flesh,
Eternity will bring death."

"But if you let the war rage on,
If you choose to fight and never give up,
No matter the pain and sorrow that come:
Please know, my child, that
Each victory will make the war burn fiercer."

"Oh Father, how will I bear this?"
I whisper as tears stream down my face.
"My dearest daughter, I will never leave your side."
He reaches for my hand, his voice ever so tender and kind.
"And, my darling... you must remember that
Only by the hottest fires can the purest gold be refined."