plaid shirts

 

time ticks slowly by

these memories floating through my mind

the walls that you once stared at too

and the love you poured into life

here in the little pieces

you left behind

i wish i could squeeze your hand

just one more time

or listen to the soothing consistency

of your voice

if only i could get your advice

on the mysteries of life

the sunshine through the porch screen

of the shortest winter days

remind me of the brightness

of your life zest

the way you took the time you had

without regrets or missed beats

and I'll always be grateful

for plaid shirts and corn fields, 

for the cards that you signed Marjorie

for the moments that stayed behind in my mind

and the shortest day of the year

that gave me you. 

Ropes

 

[via]

i take a deep breath

attempting to untie these ropes

for the millionth time

it tightens again

of its own accord 

without my consent

i look to the heavens

and release my grip

because even if i don't

have control

i know Who does

and as my hands fall

the ropes fall off 

and the air rushes into my lungs

fresh and calm

and filled with Your Peace

that i don't understand. 

Stormy Peace

 

[via]

i looked at the clouds

obscuring my view

debasing my emotions

anxiety rising

waves of doubt pouring over me

and with the rumble of the thunder 

in my subconscious

comes a revelation

the promise of clean

the purifying presence of peace

wrapping itself like a hug

around my soul and my mind

because You never forsake me

You give me your love and mercy

every morning

with every mistake I've made

You've been there

waiting to heal me

and so with gratitude

i watch the storm roll in 

with no fear

only peace. 

Black Hole

 

[via]

the time ticks slowly, crawling by

like a creeping snail out the window

unaware of my angst 

unaware of this pain

simmering low beneath consciousness

do you know what this means?

how can we move past this?

you're my gravity

like a black hole pulling me in

all i want is to know you

to discover your depths

but we're stuck here in the moment

before forever

stuck in our thoughts 

and the limits of time

wanting more but getting less

as i watch the moments tick by

grasping for the moment that you'll return

Oh, Sugar

 

[via]

you were so beautiful
in that summer sun

with the rose colored glasses

of young love.

so tempting and alluring

promising a future

of happiness that never ends

no loneliness or sadness

only happiness and bliss. 

i thought it would be forever

that we'd never have to part. 

but when i woke up 

i found out it wasn't true. 

instead of beauty, you gave me ashes

instead of love, you brought abuse

and embarrassment, 

self-hatred, 

regret and agony. 

when i decided to be honest 

with myself

about the broken promises

i found the pain 

that had been swept

under the rug. 

i found the lies 

you tried to hide. 

instead of sadness, i'm choosing anger. 

instead of being a victim, 

i'm the overcomer. 

and there won't be any more

of you in my life. 

because i'm choosing me. 

and i'm choosing truth. 

Day dream

[via]

how can a blink change a life? 

a simple moment in time 

a nod of the head 

a crinkle in the eye 

a laugh that wakes the soul 

and i don't know where my feet are 

the footing that was once so sure 

has given way 

to deep swirling colors and changes 

that can't be explained 

i reach for the moment 

i pray that God will stop time 

if only we could stay 

if only things wouldn't change 

but time marches on 

and continues to change our lives 

with another blink 

and the fleeting memory is gone 

so i shut my eyes 

and hold my breath 

willing the moment to stay 

even if just for the evening 

even if just for this day dream

Waking up in color

[via]

Last night I went to sleep 

with dreams in black and white. 

the rain was pouring down the panes 

bleeding through the pages 

of this chapter called my life 

i couldn't find the ending 

of this nightmare in my sleep.

pain turned into numbness 

hurt into haunting 

and here we are standing 

in the morning sunshine 

with the dew on the roses 

and the colors shining bright 

i feel like singing or maybe crying.

these feelings that i thought were lost 

came swirling in again 

vibrance and desire 

a confusing cyclone of emotion 

i just want to breathe and live and cry 

but here we are in the late summer sunshine 

it's good to be alive.

The Seasons of Life

[via]

i thought of you the other day, love,
and realized we never said goodbye. 
but it's too late now,
with lifetimes between our paths.
still, i whispered it to the trees;
i told them to thank you for the way 
you changed me and made me who 
i am today. 
i know you won't hear it though - 
even if i shouted it 
because there are too many miles between us
a lifetime of changes and hurts and dangers. 
that's the way life is,
sometimes it changes even when we don't want it. 
people are here for a season,
we trust them and laugh and cry together. 
then they leave us
or change like the leaves. 
sometimes we get closure and our goodbyes. 
but sometimes we don't. 

every season has it's reason.

Effortlessly

[via]

i watched the sun 
as she rose and set

effortlessly shining

in the crystal sky. 

the birds were singing, 

snow melting

as the heartbeat of the world

continued steadily. 

how can our life be such as struggle

sometimes...

how do we make things so 

complicated? 

if only i could be 

like the sun or birds

so effortlessly doing

what i was created to. 

Holding On

[via]

the leaves were trembling, barely hanging on. 
their bright colors the same as my heart
the air was cold and biting 
as i wondered how its beauty faded.
lost in the pain of the moment. 

my hands were shaking, trembling with pain

as the autumn rain tried to cleanse this day

i traced the etches of the flood down the window pane

and watched my breath disappear in the air

drowning in the memories and dreams.

my heart beat on despite the pain

even after i thought my tears 

would wash it all away. 

when you fake a smile but your heart is breaking

just like the colorful leaves before they fall. 

and like the leaves being tossed about

and pulled from every direction, 

i made a wish that You would find

beauty amidst my ashes. 

beauty amidst my ashes. 

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." Romans 8:26

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalms 34:18