the sun was dancing through the leaves
kissing your face with its shine
as we laughed in the autumn breeze.
it was a gradual feeling,
like meeting a stranger
and one day, realizing you're best friends.
we had adventure in our blood
and a story written only by God
and a mutual love of learning.
as this ship sailed, eight thousand miles or two.
we jumped on board
with laughing hearts
and learned to sail together.
i hesitated,
unsure of these emotions
unsure of this wave of thoughts
new and unrelenting
i hesitated,
not sure if i was strong enough
to endure the long winter nights
or to walk by your side
and in that moment,
you took my hand.
you reached out and took my hand
you touched my soul
and chased the fear away
and all i remember seeing
was the little boy behind your eyes
so full of hope and belief
you never doubted me,
even when i doubted myself
and you never hesitated
to share your warmth and strength.
there was an essence,
a silently understood facade
and i believed it all my life
growing up, i never doubted
but now i've learned
to look in the shadows -
and when i did,
the walls came down.
the false hopes,
and painted memories,
they all came crumbling down.
and when i looked in the shadows,
i realized that you were never really there
and you can't fool me any longer
with your artificially sweetened misnomers
and the subtle way that you destroy me
all while pretending that you care.
oh, but my darling,
God gave me a gift,
He showed me what true love looks like
and in His gracious kindness to me,
the scraps of artificial love
that i used to cling to,
have fallen off and set me free
but, my love,
i'll never forget the day i realized that you never actually cared.
this vision is blank
like the page before me -
blank and devoid of meaning.
i swallowed a star
and the moon forgot me -
shrouded in her black cloak of rain.
these dreams destroyed me
they fell like the rain -
inside my soul.
and i couldn't breathe
at the thought of you -
the bittersweet memory of you.
the world continues, recklessly spinning
while i sit here lost in time,
lost in the photos of my mind,
of times gone by,
and dreams of mine.
and i see your face
etched in my heart,
with that smile on your lips
and that song in your heart,
and the beautiful dancing
of your eyes.
and i'm trying to breathe,
and i'm trying not to cry.
but time doesn't care
about the pain in my heart,
or the thoughts on my lips.
and it keeps marching, silently on.
as the world spins on its reckless track.
as the world spins on its reckless track.
the moon looked down, silently on me,
as she tried to hide her shining face.
the stars were still, their sparkling still
as the cold air singed my lungs.
and all i could hear was the sound of the snow
and the cry in my head -
Lord, please guide me home.
by the light of the moon,
or the sparkling stars,
show me a way to heal my heart.
take what is Yours and
guide me to the place
where Your will is for me.
what is love?
Jesus loves me;
this i know.
i know it because the Bible says that
love is patient and
love is kind;
(and Jesus is patient and kind to me.)
love bears all things
love believes all things,
love does not seek her own will.
just as Jesus does not force anyone to follow Him.
Jesus, friend of sinners, they say.
Jesus, who ate with the publicans and tax collectors.
the ones who the righteous wouldn't look at -
the ones who the righteous were better than.
and you say you love me, darling,
but you often think you're better than me.
and i know that your will
is your favorite thing to talk about.
this new kind of love doesn't have
much patience or kindness.
and i don't think i ever heard Jesus say, i love you, so i'll only talk about the things i think you're doing right.
Lord, help me to love the way you love.
let others say of me, that i'm a friend of sinners.
that i'm not too good to talk to anyone.
or to listen to their story.
that i don't force my agenda on any other person.
take the stones from my hand,
for only You see what's inside;
help me not to judge another's heart, based on my perception alone.
because without love, i am nothing.
1 cor 13
the sky was a mess of beautiful clouds
reminding me of our life
while the sun peeked through the cracks
and fashioned colors made from fantasies.
i was running towards my goals,
and chasing down effervescent dreams,
when i looked over and saw you.
we were running the same race
without any knowledge
but that look in your eye
stuck in my mind.
and as i pondered all these things,
life became messy
like the leaves of time falling
and concealing our hopes and dreams.
but i'll never forget the smile you gave
as you rolled up your sleeves and got to work
because life is often messy,
but none of that matters
when you're with someone
that has rolled up sleeves
and warmth and forgiveness in their eyes.
