In the Midst

Memories // flashing through my mind

and it still doesn't seem real

that you aren't here, my dear. 

But God is here // in this moment

He's teaching me things

that I never would have understood before.

I see beauty // where I've never seen it

the wind blowing through the trees

breaking the silence of the afternoon

spreading peace and whispering God's love.

the tears // they still fall down my cheeks

but this hope grows inside my heart

because one day I'll join you // in that perfect place

and I can't imagine how beautiful it must be

when I look around at the beauty He's placed here

and when I think about your smile already there.

Oh God, I marvel at Your mercy

at how You could make something beautiful

out of something so dark.

At how You give us so much hope

in the midst of such overwhelming sadness. 

I long for Your love // even as I feel its embrace

and I need You, now // not more than I ever have before

but perhaps I am just becoming more aware of it.

So let me fully rely on You, Lord,

and trust Your perfect vision to guide me

// in the paths that I should go.

Current Obsession 2

I found myself dreaming

In silver and gold

Like a scene from a movie

That every broken heart knows 

we were walking on moonlight

And you pulled me close

Split second and you disappeared 

and then I was all alone

Shielded

I wish I could take this shield away,
     but you're going to have to cut through it. 

Alone

This is going to be an honest post.
I always try to be honest, but the point is -
sometimes it's easier to share the best things and leave out the rest.
But life isn't always perfect.
Sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's messy.

I honestly don't think I've ever felt so alone in my life.
I don't think I've ever spent so many sleepless nights crying and reading my Bible.
I love my job so much, but I miss my friends, my family, and my church.
But if there's anything I've learned, it's that God is always faithful.
He draws near to them that draw near to Him.
Even when I feel totally ugly and unlovable - He still loves me.
Even when no one else cares about what is going on - He does.
I've felt His presence more than ever lately...
And I've been clinging to His promises.

I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. (Heb 13:5)
All things work together for good to them that love God. (Rom 8:28)
And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. (John 10:28)
Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name; you are mine. (Isa 43:1)
I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. (Psa 32:8)
I will be a Father to you, and you shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. (2 Cor 6:18)