Selling Short

there are always people in life

who sell themselves short

"you should fill out your own evaluation"

the manager says to me -

an aging man well into his forties

"after all, you're far smarter than I'll ever be" 

"you used Word to design that project?!

well, I could never do so nicely"

little did she know the version was 

seven years outdated

"I'm completely happy with reserve champion,

besides, no one can beat an Amish girl's cooking."

oh, but he didn't realize how many times

I'd practiced that recipe 

I wonder how
so many people

sell themselves so short

don't they see how incredible they are? 

can they not comprehend the uniqueness of their gift? 

they give up
before they even try

because they don't think they'll ever make it
they might surprise themselves
if they actually did try

I've never met a person that wasn't brilliantly phenomenal
there are just some people who are blind to themselves

Out of Love

the sunset seems so dull
and the trees are quiet
silently still

the world is pretty
but lacking in color
faded and faint

hope for the future
i feel it inside me
but where's the excitement
where is the love

there is no pain
but
there's also no joy

just quiet
fading into nothing

Prove You Wrong

"You have the personality for it."

What?
I've never heard this before.
It's always been
"Why are you so quiet?" and
"You need to smile more."

Yet somehow in the last month
I've heard
"You have the personality for it."
A half dozen times
All from different people.

Have I changed?
Am I no longer the shy girl in the back?

Maybe not.
Maybe I'm past all that now.
In my mind, I'll probably never change
But I have noticed
Speaking up more often
Smiling more
Feeling confident in who I am
And not over analyzing
Every
Little
Word I say.
I've even made some people laugh
And I don't dread social occasions quite so much
I look forward to presentations
And I might be better at thinking on my feet

I have hope in my heart.
I'll always be an introvert
But I'm learning
I'm learning that it's not a flaw
And it's something I can use to my advantage.

I can be who I want to be
I don't have to listen to their lies
So to all the people who've made insensitive comments
Who somehow think only extroverts can win
Only extroverts can lead
Only extroverts can make a difference
I hope you're watching.
Because I am going to prove you all wrong.

Said the girl who scored 30 out of 30 for introversion.

Chapter

excitement and fear.
happy then sad.
nostalgia.
this rush of emotions
races through me
twisting and turning
bringing back memories
raising up hope

the end of one chapter.
and the start of a new one.

The Next Stop on this Journey called Life

So...It's unofficially official that within the next few weeks I'll be moving to Iowa. This is a decision that has come with much prayer and wrestling. It's something that I've known in the back of my mind for quite some time, but has just recently begun to feel more real as God has been opening door after door for me.

In a few short hours, my brother will be driving a load of clothes, my desk, and keyboard, up to my Grandma's house where I'll be living. I'll be able to be there to help my grandma and her twin sister as they are aging and could use a helping hand.

After my first job interview (which was nothing short of a miracle in itself - I "just happened" to see the one-day posting, "just happened" to email them, "just happened" to be in the area to be interviewed), I was all but offered my dream job....It's not a sealed deal yet though so prayers are appreciated.

As I reflect on the last few years, I am amazed by how the pieces fit together. How He's been preparing me for this for so long. Bringing me out of my comfort zone, increasing my trust in Him. (Because yes, even though it may sound silly, I'm a little nervous about moving so far away from home.) Even how the pieces of my education - although in seemingly unconnected areas of dietetics - almost all fit into this prospective position....

I'm sitting here in awe of God's incredible love and mercy. It's so humbling to watch Him open doors and lead me in the direction that He wants me to go. I don't know what His plan for me is yet, but I absolutely can't wait to discover it.

Resolve

[via Pinterest]

One of those days, when you second guess everything and wonder if you've made the right choice, even though you know in your heart that you have. When suddenly the weight of your decision comes to your full realization. And even though you know God has never forsaken you before and He never will... you worry about what people will think, or even say behind your back. Will they understand why you made that decision? Or will they speculate and judge? And you just want to do the safe option and you wish life could be easier and you overthink everything. And you want to reach out and ask for prayer, but you feel trapped because that will make people talk too and so you just sit down with your Bible and pray and cry. And resolve that even though this won't be easy, this is what you will do.