Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Found Her Voice Again


the sun didn't forget to shine
as the rain tried to wash away her pain
falling in a rhythm with her tears
and as she pondered it all
she found a beauty in the rain
she found a meaning to her pain
and as the rain kissed her face,
she realized how to use her voice

Undeservingly Protected


i felt the ground beneath my feet
as it began to crumble.
fear made the sky turn black
and the torrent of a thousand memories
flooded my soul in a jumble.
i grasped for air
for a semblance of life
as it used to be.
but all i found was pain,
sadness, and a lonely ache.
but as the world gave way
and even the air abandoned me,
i found that i didn't fall
because Your arms were there 
to catch me. 
and as You breathed Your Grace
on me,
i could breathe again,
i could sing again,
i could love again.
and as the fear and pain
melted away,
all i felt was safe,
and loved,
and undeservingly protected. 

Sunday, November 4, 2018

The Bystander

{St. Petersburg, Russia}
{Helsinki, Finland}
{Mumbai, India}

the world was at her feet
as she ran in the wind
and chased the flurries
of her feelings and dreams.
a moment of time
a cascade of memories
and to the world she was blind.

as a bystander,
she observed their faces
stoic and set -
like the weather outside.
as a bystander,
she listened to their language,
stout and strong -
like they were.
as a bystander,
she felt their poverty,
with her heart and soul.
as a bystander,
she slipped on their shoes,
and walked a mile or two.

and after it all,
when she returned home,
they said she was a world traveler.
but she only felt the poverty
of her own experience.
and she kept their faces,
and language, and shoes,
saved in her mind for another time.
saved in her mind for another time.

I Didn't Know


i thought of her today.
of broken friendships 
and tainted conversations
     long since past.
those memories
of feigned laughter, 
mixed signals, 
and deafening silence
build up like a toxic fog
     in my mind.
until the sunlight 
of this present moment
     clears it all away. 
back then, i only saw the trees.
today, i see the forest. 
i was lost when she
trapped me in her web
of tangled promises and
churning relationships. 
but He took me to the shore.
He saved me like He always does.
and looking back, i see all the reasons.
and looking back, i see all the reasons.

so thank You, Jesus, 
for delivering me 
from shallow friends 
with deep conversations. 
for protecting me 
from toxic relationships
with dark intentions.
for saving me
in Your flawless timing.
for saving me
when i didn't know i needed saving.