Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Short Breath

[via]

i caught a glimpse of the tangerine sunshine
peeking shyly through the clouds
the clouds that shrouded the city lying scared below
in a dreary winter haze.
shades of coral, turquoise and amber
hidden from the ground beneath
as the earth shivered from the caress.
we woke up today
to thoughts unknown
to experiences unheard
to feelings unfelt.
the world changed in a moment
and we took it for granted.
and as i pondered these inklings
with the winter shroud above
my fingers twirling a delicate flower
reminded of the short breath
that is called this life.

Tuesday, March 3, 2020

New Adventures

So I mostly post poetry-type stuff (if you can call it that lol) on here... Occasionally, however, I do post a glimpse into more than just my thoughts/feelings and share what is happening in my life. I feel like it's been awhile since I did that - partly because life was busy and I was only blogging sporadically. However, I have a little more time currently so I'm trying to get back into it a little.

I think the last time I posted a personal update was when I became a dietitian (What's Going On) and then when my cousin died (In Memory of Brookie). Both of those happened almost 5 years ago (seriously?!) and a lot has happened since then! :)

God is always so, so good. I can't emphasize that enough. I am so grateful for His leading in my life, and for all the good, wonderful things He has provided. Time and time again I am reminded that He always provides. In the end, there truly is nothing to fear or worry about, because He always provides for every single need we have.

So for the past 5 years, I've been working as a dietitian - I started out with my dream job as a retail dietitian which was such a great experience and I loved the creativity that I could have. My coworkers were amazing - like a huge, supportive family. Which was the perfect place that God wanted me to be as He led me to leave the community that I grew up in and follow Him more closely. I grew up in a conservative church and there were a lot of good things that I learned and experienced, but as I grew in my walk with God, I felt His leading to find a different church. This was one of the hardest things I ever did - stepping completely outside of anything I had ever known and learning basically an entire new way of living.

[a few Hy-Vee coworkers that came to my wedding]

[over 2.5 years working at Hy-Vee]

After that, God started leading me in a new direction in my career. I took a job as a clinical dietitian at a hospital, and moved across the state to a place where I had never met anyone. It was such a growing experience - and again my coworkers have been phenomenal and a huge support to me. Besides changing directions in my career, I felt God leading me to change careers completely. I love my job as a dietitian. I absolutely love it. And after a year at my current place, they promoted me to lead dietitian which has been another amazing, humbling, growing experience. However, I still feel God leading me out of my comfort zone as a dietitian and making a huge leap of faith by going back to school. (hopefully more details on that in the future ;) )

[friends and moving crew]

[the awesome dietitians I get to work with everyday now]
During all of this, I also started dating... After a couple months of dating, my (now husband) had his work visa renewal rejected which started a 2-year-long LONG distance (8,000 miles) relationship. Despite the struggles, God blessed us with being able to travel to 5 countries together; which I highly recommend if you ever have the chance - as traveling truly is a growing experience as you find out that the whole world does not necessarily fit into your neat little box ;) We got married in September and I am now living in India for a few months with my darling husband as we wait on a spouse visa.

a few wedding photos: 
[my family]

[my sweetheart]

[my besties]

[the ring + henna]

[guestbook]

[the best mother in the world]

[my mom MADE all the decorations - she is the BOMB]

[our adorable flower girl]

[wedding party]

A few photos from India :) 

[the view from our flat's gallery]

[our first guests at our home - a fellow "masala sister" which is what I learned that foreigners married to Indians are called lol]
[nothing like stopping your car on the roadside to get a fresh coconut]

Goodness, I think I am getting old.... but life is an amazing adventure and I absolutely cannot wait to see where God takes us next :) 

God Made You

[via]

it was a quiet feeling,
the kind that just sneaks up on you.
the kind that you never expect.
it was a lovely feeling,
different than what you pictured.
different than you had imagined.
and i didn't know how to describe it;
the way you loved me,
or the space you held for me.
it was like opening a new door,
one that i'd never noticed before.
and behind that door,
was a new world.
a breath of fresh air.
a precious gift from God.
and when He crumbled the old world
     in front of my eyes;
He fashioned you to hold me.
He made you to fit me in a perfect way.
and to show me what true love is. 

Nothing Will Ever Be the Same

[via]

nothing will ever be the same.
yet, still i remember those moments
the walls of my heart painted with nostalgia
happy moments turned into sadness
wistful longing for stories that never unfolded.
but i hold these memories in my mind
opening them and closing them a million times.
and smiling at the way you laughed;
the connection we had, if only for a moment.
and you may forget me,
a hundred years from now;
but, darling, i'll never forget our moments,
our memories,
our split second of connection in this journey of life.
and as i close the box of my heart,
i whisper a prayer, that some day,
i'll run into you again...
in a crowded store or abandoned hallway.
and that our eyes will meet like old times,
even though it is a thousand miles away.
and i'll say your name, and you'll say mine.
for a moment, the memories will be with us again,
my dear friend,
and the memories will be sweet again
instead of bittersweet.
nothing will ever be the same. 

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Flavor of Your Love


i let the flavor of your love
sink onto my tongue; 
a million thoughts 
     dancing on my taste buds. 

and every day is something new
something new to love;
so many things to learn,
     so many memories to make. 

these flavors are exotic
in endless combinations; 
and as i take another bite
     it's anything but ordinary. 


Self Righteous

[Hyderabad, India]

the sun is setting out my window
a gentle breeze dancing with the curtains
as i breathe this summer air
noises from the ground below
still echo in my ears
and i watch the traffic doodles
     and swirling neon lights
outlining the roads below
my mind is full with pleasant thoughts
happy memories
hopeful dreams
but i often wonder at the difference
that a world can make
my day is over and they are just starting
even time seems different,
in the chaos there is still peace.
in the hustle, there is still calm.
and i wonder what God thinks,
as He looks down from above.
with the whole world judging each other
and withholding love,
when He created so much variety,
and all we want is for them to fit in our little box.
and we choose our beliefs over loving,
instead of letting the Holy Spirit convict.
because we think we have all the answers,
and maybe we just need
to walk a mile in their shoes.
and remember that Jesus
condemned the pharisees for their judgmental beliefs.

the world isn't a box.
God made it bigger.
His imagination is not limited
by culture or religious expectations.
and there is so much beauty that we miss
when blinded by pride and self righteousness. 

Thursday, February 6, 2020

Ordinary

[via]

it was a normal day
the sun was shining, but not too bright.
the birds were singing, but not too loud.
my heart was beating, but not too fast.
the kind of day that you never notice.
it doesn't catch your eye or change your breath.
and if you let it, it will make you comfortable.
too comfortable; complacent.
but that's the kind of day it is.
nothing more or nothing less.
always steady, always constant.
with the sun shining, and the birds singing,
and my heart beating; beat by beat.
never stopping, never tiring.
but sometimes, love,
ordinary is the best kind of love.

Cleansed

[via]

the storm surrounded me
like the darkness you created
cold, heavy rain took away my breath 
and lightning pierced my soul.
it's what you wanted, right, love?
you wanted me to feel the pain. 
you wanted me to know i wasn't worthy. 
undeserving of your love. 
you wanted me to know i was wrong.
isn't that why you threw those stones? 
but, love, don't you know...
you aren't god.
you don't see my heart or hear my prayers. 
my decision doesn't affect your self righteousness. 
the rain fell down, and it almost drown me, 
but love, i thank God for it 
i thank Him over and over
because instead of drowning, it cleansed me 
illuminating the dross and removing it. 
and i thought i would miss you 
once the pieces fell, 
but all i feel is peace. 
Jesus has the storm. 

Monday, September 30, 2019

Better

[via]

i fell in love with you
with rainy afternoons
with sunshine dancing on the floor
and cozy whispers in my ear.

i fell in love with you
and when i looked up
you were there beside me all the way
with a handsome smile to cheer me.

i fell in love with you
despite all the naysayers
despite the self righteous haters
i fell in love with someone better.

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Learned to Sail

[via]

the sun was dancing through the leaves
kissing your face with its shine
as we laughed in the autumn breeze.
it was a gradual feeling,
like meeting a stranger
and one day, realizing you're best friends.
we had adventure in our blood
and a story written only by God
and a mutual love of learning.
as this ship sailed, eight thousand miles or two.
we jumped on board
with laughing hearts
and learned to sail together.