Monday, November 20, 2017

Tried to Forget You


these words are lost in time
their echos fill the lonely spaces
in between the moments
where our souls kept their distance.
and so i whispered to the moon
and she covered me with her radiance
while i wept these bitter hues
and tried to desperately forget you.

Lost with My Heartbeats


these emotions are slipping
through my fingers
filling my heart with sludge
and painting my brain in wild hues.
i wish i could remember
how your face looked that night
and the expression that filled your eyes.
but it's all gone,
leaving behind a ghost of feelings,
and skeletons of thoughts
in my dusty mind.
those moments are fading
like undeveloped film
and the colors of my emotions
were lost with my heartbeats.

Reflections Broken in the Ripples


this moment is beautiful,
awestruck before us.
we capture the memory
even as we watch it shatter,
our reflections broken in the ripples.
and it doesn't feel like this
was made to last
but i take a breath
and plunge into the peaceful waters -
once more.
because when this moment is gone,
i will only regret
not allowing myself to feel it.
not being submersed in these wild waters -
that will either fill me with exhilaration
or take me down.

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Haunting Regret


the moon was shining,
streaming through the fog
just like your tenderness
was breaking through my confusion.
i felt the grass under my feet
soft and tender -
but still less green
than my bleeding heart.
i looked into your eyes
and saw the scars on your soul.
but, love, did you even look into mine?
because if you did -
you would have seen the pain
cascading through my veins.
but those words -
i would try to take back,
if the universe would pity my plight.
because they chase me still
with their haunting regret
and i try to forgive myself,
and i try not to take flight.

Friday, October 27, 2017

Stuck in Reality


all i wish
is that life wouldn't be so complicated
and love wouldn't be so hard.
that childhood dreams
would never go unfulfilled.
that romance was easier in life
than it was in our heads.
and that falling in love
would never fill us with dread.
why can't two people click
even when they've run out of friends?
and why do we fail to understand
those with whom we are committed?
why do tears come at such a high cost
and how do they sear our souls?
why can't we all just live in peace
and forgive others of their battles?
maybe one day we grew weary of the hope.
perhaps we no longer are the dreamers.

Monday, October 9, 2017

I Wasn't Looking


i wandered along without a care
when you came along with your little affair.
i didn't see you coming, love
because i wasn't looking for a glove.
but somehow i tried you on
and in an instant you were gone.
but your memory was left
and now all i feel is bereft -
of dreams that i never dreamed
and all the moments that went unredeemed.
i wasn't looking for this
i wasn't ready for bliss.
and now all i can do is miss
the way that you kiss.

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Better than Dreams


imagination failed me
it was better than i realized
and worse than i had hoped.
those dreams of yesterday
seem dull and lifeless now.
tossed aside for better things.
because imagination
will never overcome sensation.
and dreams are only good
before the goal is met.
and no one could ever tell you
how beautiful life is
until they've lived in the present moment.
until they've done things that they regret.

In the Dark


i felt the door before me open
although my eyes were closed.
i have never been more aware
of your presence than in the dark.
my mind failed me once again
when my senses took over
but i was never more aware
of this moment than in the dark.
i took a step forward
and fell in the dark
and if i could do it over,
i would be a better person
but it would still be in the dark.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Dreaming with Our Eyes Open


the breeze hit me with a thousand memories
the way we soaked in the silence of the sunshine
the way our eyes sparkled as we talked about tomorrows
the way the earth spun by us
we were careless in the moment
the world was before us
and we didn't try to foretell it
but we dreamed with our eyes wide open.

i walked in and the air felt like listening to you
make up songs on the piano
and laughing about my freshman year
having endless conversations about everything and nothing
sending texts that have long since been deleted.

the room smells like secrets kept forever,
a million broken promises,
and tears that no one else understands.
my window is open like it was that day
with the sun dancing on the floor,
and i watch the flowers bobbing cordially in the breeze.

i felt like i was 16 again
watching the leaves blow off the trees
and wondering where in the world
you are now and what you're doing
and if anything ever reminds you of me.

because i miss the days
when we dreamed with our eyes wide open.

Thursday, August 31, 2017

A Guiding Star


there was a star along her path
shining so brightly in the night
that she mistook it for the sun
and followed it a little ways,
until the path grew brighter.
regret filled a moment
but then she realized
that without the star that wasn't hers
without the pain she had to bear
without the detour that took her time
she never would have found the right path
or seen the sun, or felt the shine of better days.