Sunday, October 25, 2015

This Moment

The sun streaming in through the slats of my window.
Trees dressed in their evening gowns of splendor,
           gracefully whispering praises to their Maker.
The glistening soil, quietly resting after a long and fruitful year.
The feeling of overflowing in my heart, after all that He's blessed me with.

Feeling so lonely and alone that He becomes my everything.
Wondering what heaven will be like, and missing those that have already went.
Desperately trying to find my purpose in life,
            because it feels like I've lived so long and accomplished so little.
Missing just hanging out with friends, and not having to worry about small talk and impressions.
Wishing I could quit hating myself so much, and feeling like such a constant failure.

So grateful for His love, that it makes me cry.
How could He love a wretch like me?
How can He love me,
           when I desperately deserve to be hated?

You're the only hope that I'm clinging to,
And I hope You know, that I can't live without You...


  1. Wow! Just wow! Beautifully written! I loved every little bit of it <33

  2. "You're the only hope that I'm clinging to"
    He should be the one we are always depending on, and I hate that I cling onto other things that aren't Him to give me security too often. Indeed, how could He love us? It's a miracle I'm immensely grateful for xxx

  3. oh my word, Laurel.
    This is literally such a blessing to me to know. Just to know, that i'm not alone in these thoughts, these feelings.
    When the wave of emotions come, it's really all we can do sometimes, ride them out, let them cut us to pieces and then try in the numb moments after to sloppily glue them back together with weak muscles and wipe our tears (though it seems in vain).
    But oh sometimes i'm honestly not suprised at suicide rates. Or when people go crazy and harm others. For what would i do, how would i even begin to cope, without HIM by my side?
    So praise the Lord. Praise the Lord that we know Him.

    1. I totally agree. If it weren't for His grace, who's to say that I wouldn't have done something awful like that myself? Praise God for His excellent mercy.