Conflicting

Sometimes I try to figure myself out
I'm so confusing
One moment I want one thing
And the next another
I feel confident
And then I hate myself
I love the rain
And then I grow tired of it
One day I smile at your thought
And the next it makes me feel sick
I think I know myself
And then I don't

Peaceful as the Mountain Stream

The cool, peaceful water rushes over my toes
As it joyfully flows down the mountain
The pines above me whisper their secrets
Bending and swaying in conjunction with the wind
The sun shyly peaks out between the clouds
And dances on the forest floor
The water reflects the bright sentiment
And sparkles back at the sun
The world is so good. So beautiful.
Time doesn't matter as I try to soak it all in
Marveling at Your creativity and beauty
Marveling at Your perfect love
And wishing I could be as constant
In my adoration of You
As the most humble trees and rocks

Better

I want to find you again
There are things I need to tell you
Secrets I have to share
Moments that need to be lived

Why did you leave me
In such a hurry?
I wasn't ready for the empty
I wasn't ready for the hurt

And I still miss you, my darling.
I miss you, oh so much
But I'll no longer be wasting my time
I've made the promise to myself

I'm going to live my life
I'm going to be better than you ever will
Because I'm moving on now
Even if I have to cry all night long.

Best Blogging Buddies Award

The lovely Candence Declan from Words Passing You By nominated me for this award :) She's pretty cool, and amazing, and definitely one of the most talented bloggers I know. So I'm very honored that she thought of me. 

Rules:

• You must make a post to show your award on your main blog.
• You must tag the person who nominated you in your post (also take the cute owl above you).
• You must nominate all of your best buddies, and those whom you want to become best buddies with, who, to your knowledge, have not been nominated for this award.
• You must ask your buddies at least 15 questions in your post.
• You must answer all of the questions your buddies ask you on your post.

The questions:

1. Last dream you had?
   I had a very confusing dream that my grandma was visiting and at the last minute, had to stay with me at my apartment for an extended period of time, but she also had to send all her luggage back home and she forgot her money in her luggage, so she had to call her sister who had to break into her house and get the money to mail it back. My dreams never make sense.
2. What do you normally eat for breakfast?
   Pretty much whatever I can find / have time for - cereal, oatmeal, bagel, yogurt, kefir, milk with Carnation instant breakfast powder, muffins, grits, co-co wheats, cream of wheat - I'm definitely not picky. Except for eggs- not a huge fan of eggs. Or sausage. lol
3. Any songs that you just absolutely love?
   I actually don't really have any song obsessions at the moment. I seriously can't wait for Owl City's new album to come out though.
4. Current favorite post?
   I think my favorite post from my blog would have to be Strong because this is something that has been becoming more and more real to me over the past couple years.
5. Thought of the day?
   "I love the moments of life that absolutely dwarf you. That show you where you fit and how small you are. That remind you that we are specks of dust caught up in a tornado and we never even know we are spinning." -Tyler Knott Gregson
6. Are you ready for summer?
   oh goodness I think so
7. Something I may not know about you?
   I kind of like to drive fast...lol
8. When you hear the word Run, what do you think (of)?
   A book that I read, titled "Run, Baby, Run" - an autobiography by Nicky Cruz. It's an incredible story, and very inspiring. Reading this book kind of shocked me at how horrible some people's lives can be. I mean, before reading this I really had no clue what gangs could be like and what it would be like to be in one. It's kind of awful, but amazing how God can turn someone's life around and make such a huge impact for His Kingdom.
9. What is the weather like right now?
   Sunny, puffy white clouds, perfection
10. What makes you smile?
    Beautiful things. 
11. If you had the chance to travel through space, for any amount of time, would you?
    Uh, yes please.
12. Describe how you feel right now in one word.
    lighthearted
13. Do you have any favorite posts posted this week (by you or by others)?
    Love Overflowing by Adelaide Thompson at Down By The Willows
14. Smell of rain or feel of sunlight?
    Both. 
15. Can you?
    Yes, through the grace of God. 

My Nominations:

Candence

Adelaide

Bethany

Hannah Joy

Abigail

Autumn

Lauren

and anyone else who wants to do it!

My questions:

1. Cat or dog person? Or bird? 
2. What was the last thing you ate? 
3. Do you garden or grow plants at all? 
4. What are your plans for the summer? 
5. Favorite subject? 
6. If you were a food, what would you be and why? 
7. Can you touch your toes (without bending your knees)? 
8. Favorite quote? 
9. When you get to heaven, who is the first person you'll find and what will you say to them? 
10. Emails or letters? 
11. What is your biggest goal in life? 
12. What is your Meyers-Briggs personality type? 
13. What's the best thing that has ever happened to you? 
14. If you had to eat only one food for the rest of your life (and nutrition didn't matter) what would you choose? 
15. What is your biggest fear?

Alive

the tears of the earth fall down
cleaning the world and bringing new life
I stand, gaping up at the heavens
feeling the water rush over my skin
the world seems to slow as my awareness fades
the passage of time fading into the background
I wonder at life, I wonder at sadness
how it can be so cleansing and freeing
how they can be so entangled in one
I sit in the shadows, no longer feeling the wetness
lost in moments that will never return
longing for moments that never will be
and wondering how I can feel so alive
when I would rather be nothing.

Take the High Road

take the high road, my dear

when everything around is falling down

when everything seems lost 

and you are filled with despair

take the high road. 

your friends are all taunting you

making you feel worthless and drab

but take the high road, my dear

when the day just keeps going wrong

and it seems like you have more enemies

than friends, take the high road.

it may be more work

and it may make you sweat

but take the high road, my dear

for i think you will find

as the dust settles and the sun sets

that a peace will surround you;

at the end of the journey

you'll never regret the decision 

to take the high road

so take the high road, my dear

please take the high road. 

Harsher

The world is much harsher than we expected
And the pain might be too much to bear
But with you here beside me, I have nothing to fear
We sit in silence and forget about the world
The grass dances around us as we walk together
The sun smiles down as our laughter fills the air
You grab my hand and take off running
Glancing back at me with dancing eyes
Let's run forever, darling, and never stop
Let's run forever, darling, and never stop

Mistaken

[via pinterest]

we all make mistakes

things that once done, 

can never be undone

but only relived

through regret and agony

God help them to forgive me

and help me to forgive myself

not because it is deserved

but because the pain is too great.

All

Surely, Darling,

You must know //

That it was all

// it was all for you.

Blogoversary

Guess what? This blog is now 1 year old! I really can't believe how far I've come in one year. I never would have guessed all the changes I have made (name change & multiple designs), all the posts I have written (70 total), and most of all the friends that I've made! There are 32 of you now which just blows my mind because you all are amazing and I love you all. I really can't believe that there are 32 people out there who like my writing enough to read my blog. Thank you so much for reading my ramblings and taking the time to comment and get to know me. It means the world to me.

To celebrate, I thought I'd do a little bit more of a personal post so you all can get a glimpse into my life.

• Song Obsession - Shatter Me and pretty much every Lindsey Stirling song
• Ice-cream preference - Vanilla all the way, not a huge chocolate fan
• Musical instrument - I play the piano and love to sing as long as no one is around to hear me.
• Favorite season - Fall is definitely my favorite season. I absolutely love the colors and usually the weather is perfect. 
• Favorite sandwich - peanut butter and jelly all the way
• Siblings - I have 2 younger siblings - a sister and a brother. We've always been really close. In fact, supposedly after my sister was born (I was 2), I thought she was my doll and didn't want to stop holding her (as apposed to the typical oldest child response to a new sibling lol). Also, my mom miscarried triplets when I was about a year old. I've always dreamed of how fun that would be, to have triplet siblings ;) 
• Projects - I am a huge procrastinator and tend to do everything at the last minute. 
• Pets - I have a dog named Eugene, but I had to leave him with my parents since I'm at school and work all day. I would say I am a cat person at heart and can totally see myself becoming a crazy cat lady someday. 
• Sports - I am a huge football fan - especially of the Indianapolis Colts.
• College - I am currently completing my dietetic internship and Master's degree in pediatric nutrition and will HOPEFULLY be done by August :)
• Children - I have always wanted to have lots of kids. Like at least 10. idk :)
• Travel - I've been to 38 states and been to Alaska twice. The first time was on a cruise with my dear grandmother and the second time was in the dead of winter with my family to see the northern lights. I absolutely loved both times. However, I could never live in Alaska. 
• Language - I know Spanish and would love to serve on the mission field in a Spanish-speaking country someday. 
• Name - I was named after my great grandmother - Lorraine - she died when she was pretty young from cancer, but was very sweet and loved by everyone that knew her. 
• Movie - my favorite movie is probably The Amazing Spiderman, I also love Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Pride and Prejudice, and most other Marvel superhero movies. 
• Random talents - I was very involved in 4-H as a child and took over 100 projects, including dozens of food projects (baking, preservation, dairy, bake with a mix, and even microwave), sewing, genealogy, photography, painting, computer, scrapbooking, woodworking, and even small engines (I overhauled a snowmobile engine, and yes I was the only girl and I won 2nd place). 
• Room - my room/house/desk are almost always extremely organized. I can't concentrate or work if things around me are messy or out of place. 

Well, this ended up longer than I anticipated, but I had fun doing it. I got all these questions off another site, but I think it would be fun to answer questions that you all come up with! Is that something you all would be interested in? :) Well, if it is please comment with a question or two or more below and I'll reply :)