The Spinning World

[via]

the world continues, recklessly spinning
while i sit here lost in time,
lost in the photos of my mind,
of times gone by,
and dreams of mine.
and i see your face
etched in my heart,
with that smile on your lips
and that song in your heart,
and the beautiful dancing
of your eyes.
and i'm trying to breathe,
and i'm trying not to cry.
but time doesn't care
about the pain in my heart,
or the thoughts on my lips.
and it keeps marching, silently on.
as the world spins on its reckless track.
as the world spins on its reckless track.

Guide Me

[via]

the moon looked down, silently on me,
as she tried to hide her shining face.
the stars were still, their sparkling still
as the cold air singed my lungs.
and all i could hear was the sound of the snow
and the cry in my head -
Lord, please guide me home.
by the light of the moon,
or the sparkling stars,
show me a way to heal my heart.
take what is Yours and
guide me to the place
where Your will is for me.

Love Is

what is love?
Jesus loves me;
this i know.
i know it because the Bible says that
love is patient and
love is kind;
(and Jesus is patient and kind to me.)
love bears all things
love believes all things,
love does not seek her own will.
just as Jesus does not force anyone to follow Him.
Jesus, friend of sinners, they say.
Jesus, who ate with the publicans and tax collectors.
the ones who the righteous wouldn't look at -
the ones who the righteous were better than.

and you say you love me, darling,
but you often think you're better than me.
and i know that your will
is your favorite thing to talk about.
this new kind of love doesn't have
much patience or kindness.
and i don't think i ever heard Jesus say,
     i love you, so i'll only talk about
     the things i think you're doing right.

Lord, help me to love the way you love.
let others say of me, that i'm
     a friend of sinners. 
that i'm not too good to talk to anyone.
or to listen to their story.
that i don't force my agenda on
     any other person.
take the stones from my hand,
for only You see what's inside;
help me not to judge another's heart,
     based on my perception alone.

because without love, i am nothing.
1 cor 13

Rolled Up Sleeves

[via]

the sky was a mess of beautiful clouds
reminding me of our life
while the sun peeked through the cracks
and fashioned colors made from fantasies.
i was running towards my goals,
and chasing down effervescent dreams,
when i looked over and saw you.
we were running the same race
without any knowledge
but that look in your eye
stuck in my mind.
and as i pondered all these things,
life became messy
like the leaves of time falling
and concealing our hopes and dreams.
but i'll never forget the smile you gave
as you rolled up your sleeves and got to work
because life is often messy,
but none of that matters
when you're with someone
     that has rolled up sleeves
and warmth and forgiveness in their eyes.

For Pain at My Sight

[via]

the world was silent
moving frame by frame
as my hand reached up to feel the dagger
the blade stabbing through my heart
i felt my mouth move but no sound came out
i felt my mind spinning in dizzying circles
as i tried to comprehend this pain.
it clang to my heart and weighed me down
my wings lost in aimless motion.
while lonely streams found their way down my cheeks.
i loved you more than anything
i gave you my heart without reservation
and i lost track of the times that you dropped it
or the number of scars you left on its surface
and as i longed for a glimpse of the moon,
even she abandoned me for pain at my sight.
even she abandoned me for pain at my sight.

Found Her Voice Again

[via]

the sun didn't forget to shine
as the rain tried to wash away her pain
falling in a rhythm with her tears
and as she pondered it all
she found a beauty in the rain
she found a meaning to her pain
and as the rain kissed her face,
she realized how to use her voice
again.

Undeservingly Protected

[via]

i felt the ground beneath my feet

as it began to crumble.

fear made the sky turn black

and the torrent of a thousand memories

flooded my soul in a jumble.

i grasped for air

for a semblance of life

as it used to be.

but all i found was pain,

sadness, and a lonely ache.

but as the world gave way

and even the air abandoned me,

i found that i didn't fall

because Your arms were there 

to catch me. 

and as You breathed Your Grace

on me,

i could breathe again,

i could sing again,

i could love again.

and as the fear and pain

melted away,

all i felt was safe,

and loved,
and undeservingly protected. 

The Bystander

{St. Petersburg, Russia}

{Helsinki, Finland}

{Mumbai, India}

the world was at her feet
as she ran in the wind
and chased the flurries
of her feelings and dreams.
a moment of time
a cascade of memories
and to the world she was blind.

as a bystander,
she observed their faces
stoic and set -
like the weather outside.
as a bystander,
she listened to their language,
stout and strong -
like they were.
as a bystander,
she felt their poverty,
with her heart and soul.
as a bystander,
she slipped on their shoes,
and walked a mile or two.

and after it all,
when she returned home,
they said she was a world traveler.
but she only felt the poverty
of her own experience.
and she kept their faces,
and language, and shoes,
saved in her mind for another time.
saved in her mind for another time.

I Didn't Know

[via]

i thought of her today.

of broken friendships 

and tainted conversations

     long since past.

those memories

of feigned laughter, 

mixed signals, 

and deafening silence

build up like a toxic fog

     in my mind.

until the sunlight 

of this present moment

     clears it all away. 

back then, i only saw the trees.

today, i see the forest. 

i was lost when she

trapped me in her web

of tangled promises and

churning relationships. 

but He took me to the shore.

He saved me like He always does.

and looking back, i see all the reasons.

and looking back, i see all the reasons.

so thank You, Jesus, 

for delivering me 

from shallow friends 

with deep conversations. 

for protecting me 

from toxic relationships

with dark intentions.

for saving me

in Your flawless timing.

for saving me

when i didn't know i needed saving.

The Rhythm of the Storm

[via]

i felt the waters with my toes,

as the twilight twinkled 'round me.

sparkles dancing on the ocean;

flecks of a thousand dreams and memories.

and as my heart twirled through them,

my mind gradually became aware

of a deepening pressure, a sinking current

twisting itself around my soul

and as i fought to be free of the heartbreak

i love you, my child

echoed in my ear

and i remembered how i used to love the rain,

as i relented to the pain.

feeling the pulse of the ocean.

taking in the beat of the storm.

because in the end, the sun always wins.

so for the instant 

i observed the storm

matching my tears to the rhythm;

and when it all was behind me

i gave thanks to God for my wounded heart. 

i gave thanks to God for my wounded heart.