There are days when each hour is a fight just to survive.
When the sun doesn't shine and the time just crawls by...
How will I make it alive?
The war rages on with each breath that I take;
The storm inside of me thunders and crashes.
Will my heart stay in one piece or will it all turn to ashes?
I cry and say, "Your will be done, Lord."
But my heart passionately spews - "No, Mine!"
The pain of each step and the dread that is building,
Threaten to overtake me.
My heart is struggling - straining to beat -
As the war rages on inside.
Death to my flesh, or death to my soul,
Are the only options in sight.
"Oh Lord, won't you take this battle from me?
Banish these desires from my heart -
Make myself like You!"
..."Don't you care, Lord?" I whimper in anguish;
No answer in sight.
The wind clamors against my house;
The storm outside no match for the one in my heart.
Desperation and confusion join ranks against me.
When will this battle end?
"Not in this life," comes the nearly silent reply.
"Oh Lord! How can this be?"
"My child, your will is free -
The war will rage as long as you are outside eternity."
"You see, my child, this battle must be.
Each man has his own war to face.
For at the end of his life, his battle will prove a choice.
If the choice is made to give into the flesh,
Eternity will bring death."
"But if you let the war rage on,
If you choose to fight and never give up,
No matter the pain and sorrow that come:
Please know, my child, that
Each victory will make the war burn fiercer."
"Oh Father, how will I bear this?"
I whisper as tears stream down my face.
"My dearest daughter, I will never leave your side."
He reaches for my hand, his voice ever so tender and kind.
"And, my darling... you must remember that
Only by the hottest fires can the purest gold be refined."