The Bonds of Death are Broken!

Nearly two thousand years ago, a poor Jewish man was crucified for seemingly no reason. He had no sin, and yet religious rulers at the time were worried about the number of followers He was gathering. Little did they know this was all part of the bigger plan. Jesus had to die a sinners death, in order to pay the debt that you and I could never hope to pay. But thank God that's not the end of the story. See, He could have died for us, but if He hadn't risen again there would still be no hope. By dying and then rising again, Jesus broke the bonds of death once and for all. He paid for our sins and paved the way for us to one day rise and live in heaven with Him. What a beautiful and awe inspiring thought! No three days in the history of time have eclipsed the magnitude of those three days. The God of the universe came disguised as a poor carpenters son from Galilee. A lowly man who changed eternity. There is nothing more romantic than that, my friends. As Christians, we have no reason to fear death. And when our loved ones die, we miss them, but we know that one day we'll see them again because Jesus is risen!!

Tears and Peace

I can still hear your giggle,
And feel the sunlight streaming through the window.
I can see the kindness in your eyes
And sense the generosity of your thoughts.
I don't know why you had to leave us.
We may never understand.
But if there is one thing we know.
It's that God is in command.
We choose to trust Him,
We choose to follow.
And we feel His presence ever near us.
Because His peace is with us through the sorrow.

Days like today, it seems like the memories keep flooding back.
The panic-stricken phone call,
The agonizing drive back to the scene.
The darkness that engulfed us as we waited outside the ambulance.
The urgency of the paramedics as they wheeled her to the helicopter.
The worry and impatience of sitting in the waiting room, waiting to hear something.
The crushing weight of the news when it finally arrived.
The nearly silent anguish that filled the small hospital bereavement room,
       when pain that is too deep and unfathomable to be expressed is felt.
       and in the days to follow, at the viewing, the funeral, and burial.
Memories that bring with them, rivers like the ocean.
Concurrent with other memories...
The powerful current of the helicopter lifting up,
       bringing with it a wave of indescribable peace.
The feeling of arms wrapped together in a prayer circle,
       and the binding strength of our love even stronger.
The signs that God gave us of reassurance that this was His hand.
The feeling of burdens being lifted through prayer after prayer.
The unending grace, and mercy, and kindness of our Savior.
The comfort of friends and family and just being together.
Today is 6 months, and the memories still flood our minds.
Bringing tears and peace, questions and hope, pain and love.

Praising God

The warmth of the steadily awakening world.
The friendly sun shining down happily,
Gradually painting the day with light.
The gentle breeze wrapping itself around me,
It's soft embrace bringing peace to my soul.
Softly, pastel clouds blanket the earth;
As if to protect it from the heat of noonday.
And as the brightness fades into night,
The world is nowhere close to falling asleep.
Sounds of laughter and playing float in through my window.
As the crickets joyfully chirp in the background.
And before I fall asleep I think, and wonder just a little...
That even though we may not stop and notice,
The universe is singing praises without cease to its Maker.
The unvarying harmony, the beauty that surrounds us;
Every creature and object bringing glory to God,
In even the most simple of ways.
And yet, how much more could we bring Him praise -
If we could be like the simple flower,
And be obedient to His call.

Infinity Dreams

So, the sweet Sophia from the Teentrepreneur tagged me for the Infinity Dreams Award!

The rules: you must share 11 facts about yourself, answer 11 questions, make 11 questions of your own, and tag 11 bloggers.

11 Facts about me:
1. I'm a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and I have a Master's of Science in Pediatric Nutrition.
2. I love to cook/bake/make good food.
3. I love the Spanish language.
4. I'm an introvert and a dreamer.
5. It's hard for me to make friends.
6. I hate speaking up in groups, but oddly enough don't mind giving presentations.
7. I'm a night owl.
8. I'm a huge Colts fan.
9. Isaiah 40:31 is my favorite Bible verse.
10. I love finding the good in other people, but sometimes I struggle to find it in me.
11. I love being outside and gardening or anything like that.

Sophia's 11 Questions:
1. Where would you travel if you just had one day? (Not including flights/transportation) San Diego
2. What food are you always craving? I'm not really sure if there's just one food...I like a variety of food, and I guess I don't get cravings all that often?
3. Favorite tv series? I don't really watch TV, but my grandma does and I guess Downton Abbey ;)
4. Evening or Morning? I love how quiet and peaceful everything is in the morning, but it's just so hard to get up... haha
5. Most replayed song? I usually listen to the radio...but when I do listen to CD's, it's usually Owl City.
6. Describe your favorite hair style? (sorry that's not really a question) I like to do a French Twist in the front of my hair.
7. Favorite youtubers? Um... idk?? I don't really watch much YouTube...
8. Twitter or Instagram? Instagram!! A picture is worth a thousand words - and you can't even have a thousand words on twitter. lol
9. What would be your ideal spring break? I wish I still got Spring Break! My favorite was probably when my family went to Alaska to watch the northern lights and ride dog sleds. It was soo cold, but SO worth it!
10. Favorite bloggers? hmmm... there's a lot of good ones - like Sophia and check out my button page to see other good ones.
11. Weirdest contact you've ever had? (Like maybe it was the random girl you met at the mall who was addicted to polar bears) I went to this Mexican festival with my sister last year and there was this guy that looked like he was probably homeless and started talking to me, completely ignoring my sister and after awhile gave me his address, phone number, everything and wanted to go on a date with me haha. I've never had anything like that happen, and I thought it was even weirder because honestly, I'd say my sister is much better looking than I - but maybe he thought he'd have a better chance with me? haha it was pretty weird and somewhat funny.

My Questions:
1. What is your favorite memory?
2. What is your biggest goal in life?
3. Who is your favorite person and why?
4. What is your MBTI personality type?
5. Describe your favorite color.
6. How many siblings?
7. What relaxes you?
8. Apple or droid?
9. Dream job?
10. What post do you consider to be your best?
11. Describe your blog in one word.

I'm too lazy to tag people tonight, but I'd love it if you would complete this and comment with the link or just answer the questions in the comments :) I'd love to get to know you all better!

More than I Imagined

5 months ago today...
We had no idea that as we left church,
It would be the last time in this life,
That we would see our little cousin...
Had no idea the nightmare
We were a phone call away from entering.
We could have never imagined how much pain and tears
Our next few days would hold.
Or that we could ever survive such
Immense and immeasurable loss and grief.

Today,
Sweet Brooklyn is celebrating her 10th birthday;
At the feet of Jesus,
Singing with the angels.
And from our eyes, the tears still fall...

Yet...
Through it all,
God has never left our sides.
True, 5 months ago,
I could have never imagined enduring so much heart break.
But, I also could have never imagined how great our God is.
Through the pain and the darkness,
God has shown us so much more of Himself
Than we ever could have experienced otherwise.
He is truly good,
All the time.
And it's only when we can no longer bear this burden alone,
That we truly begin to experience,
The unending greatness, love, and mercy of our Heavenly Father.

I. O. U. Everything

I stand in awe of You.
That Your love would reach a wretch like me.
Oh Father, Your mercy astounds me.
My cup overflows.
My gratitude overwhelms me.
That Your Grace would cover me.
That Your plan would include me.
Oh that I would be a more worthy recipient of this everlasting gift.
Lord, mold me and use me.
Broken and spotted as I am,
Yet I have no doubt of Your healing power.
Take captive my heart
And let it ne'er depart from Thee.
My beautiful Savior.
My Lord and My King.

I owe all to You.

What Happened to Us, Love?

What happened to us, Love?
Was it my fault or yours?
We made such a good team, you know.
We could have lasted forever.
We would have made a beautiful old couple.
You pulling me out and making me more convivial.
Me softening you and making you more contemplative.
You forever the life of the party,
Me forever the dreamer.
We were beautiful, Love.
So what went wrong?

----
These last few posts have been really fun to write. I thought I would do something a little different than the ordinary for valentine's day. Isn't it fascinating to think about lost love? What could have been? These are filled with some wistful nostalgia, which is a beautiful emotion to me.

I Wish I Knew

I thought I saw it in your eyes -

The way they danced at me.

The things you said to me.

How you made me feel. 

You could make me laugh on my worst days, Love.

You made me feel like I was actually worth something.

Did you do it on purpose, Love? 

Did you want me to fall for you? 

Were you leading me on,

Or waiting to catch me? 

I wish I knew, Love....

Everyday I wish that I knew.

You'll Never Know

There's so much I want to tell you.

There's so much I wish I had told you.

I think I'm over you, 

and then I'm not. 

I wish I wouldn't have shut you off. 

I wish I could have been brave. 

Brave enough to tell you how I really felt.

Instead of running. 

Instead of shutting you out. 

I wish you could see

how regret haunts me now...

how it overflows my eyes. 

But you'll never know.

You'll never know that I loved you.

You'll never know how sweet and kind 

I think you are. 

How much you changed my life. 

You'll never know. 

Because I wasn't brave enough to tell you,

And you're too far away now.

I Don't Want to Say Hello.

hello february...
welcome february...
words that have echoed across my computer screen today,
yet i can't quite seem to agree with them.
i've never minded this month before,
but the main thing i've always associated it with,
is the birthday month of brooklyn and aunt dorothy...
they are both celebrating with Jesus this year.
and while i'm rejoicing for them,
i can't help but feel a little missing.
so maybe i won't say welcome february,
but whisper thank you Jesus - for Your never ending love and grace.
<3