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darkness surrounds you
as you lie awake
thunder rumbles
hours pass as sleep eludes you.
but the darkness and thunder
that keep you awake aren't from without
but rage on in your soul.
a struggle that no one wants to feel.
we run from conflict and hide from hurt
but the deepest kinds of conflict and hurt
cannot be avoided when they come from within.
i've been spending too many sleepless nights.
plagued by self-doubt and turmoil.
but i've found a secret through the wrestling.
a silver lining in the storm cloud.
there's a beauty that's only found in the broken.
there's a peace that can only be experienced in victory.
often we have a romanticized view of the struggles of life.
we want to celebrate the victory
without the bloody fight before.
we want to be a skillful sailor
by only sailing on smooth seas.
but life isn't like that.
life is messy and unromantic.
life is hard and dirty.
we have to learn to embrace the struggle to overcome it.
the sunset is always more beautiful after the storm.
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